Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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