i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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