I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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