A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize