I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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