Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
