I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
