My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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