You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
