I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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