it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize