Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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