i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
