I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
