Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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