I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
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How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
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I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My liver is preforming stress tests.