Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked

  (708): View more from Illinois

  so?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas

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  (630): after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked (708): so? (630): then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas http://tfl.nu/17ue
  Replies (18) Good night (4407) Bad night (526)
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  (212): View more from New York

  your tears are not going to buy me drinks...

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  (212): your tears are not going to buy me drinks... http://tfl.nu/o6xp
  Replies (14) Good night (1004) Bad night (3617) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex

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  (203): just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex http://tfl.nu/zx0t
  Replies (12) Good night (4475) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring

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  (405): Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring http://tfl.nu/7l8r
  Replies (9) Good night (2202) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!

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  (732): He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love! http://tfl.nu/kaje
  Replies (9) Good night (4619) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused

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  (402): the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused http://tfl.nu/z0he
  Replies (7) Good night (2854) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?

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  (740): Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe? http://tfl.nu/3oc2
  Replies (10) Good night (2293) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  my head hurts. i need an adult

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult

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  (225): my head hurts. i need an adult (225): and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult http://tfl.nu/wl1h
  Replies (4) Good night (1843) Bad night (512)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor

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  (580): There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor http://tfl.nu/zpbq
  Replies (6) Good night (723) Bad night (1140) Order T-Shirt
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  (+79): View more from

  You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win

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  (+79): You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win http://tfl.nu/jmv2
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag

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  (321): He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag http://tfl.nu/8y86
  Replies (16) Good night (1655) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.

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  (914): I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements. http://tfl.nu/p1je
  Replies (8) Good night (1299) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load

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  (317): There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load http://tfl.nu/2y1d
  Replies (6) Good night (818) Bad night (277) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.

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  (206): I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems. http://tfl.nu/rm1a
  Replies (2) Good night (171) Bad night (291)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?

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  (401): Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer? http://tfl.nu/x506
  Replies (0) Good night (305) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt

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