OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize