We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize