Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize