yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
