new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
