Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
