You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
