I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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