He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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