Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
