Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
