I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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