There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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