I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
