I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
