sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
