I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I have post one night stand depression
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