i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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