We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Drake has all the answers
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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