what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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