I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
