For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
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