This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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