I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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