HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
