and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
