take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
