Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This baby is an asshole
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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