You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
