I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
