the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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