No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
