You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
