sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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