apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize