i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
