I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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