How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
