no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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