I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
