The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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