I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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