Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
