we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
