I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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